Modern Day Sex Ed: Google

I have not written anything on my blog in a few months. Life has been extremely busy (and on the not-so-busy days, I have opted to just take my down time to rest up). Big changes are coming my way! I am starting a Masters in Public Health at UC Berkeley in about one week, as part of the "Health and Social Behavior" cohort. I am both excited and nervous as I prepare for this next journey! And I am ready to get back at it with the writing!

One topic I have had on my mind lately is internet boundaries for youth. I wrote a few posts that were somewhat tangential to this issue a while back, such as the one about cyber bullying and the one about limiting the content I access personally.

Recently, however, I feel like the topic of sexuality and sexual education via the internet has been swirling all around me. Just a few days ago, I read a very important blog post titled, "Three Things You Don't Know About Your Children and Sex," by Ann Marie Miller. (Note that this post is so popular that you may get an error if you are trying to access it at pique times.) The main point I gleaned from the article is that today, when kids don't know what a word means at school, they simply Google it. And guess what that exposes them to? Pornography. Maybe even pornography showing types of sex you and I have never heard of.

Source: http://www.techaddiction.ca/children-and-technology.html

I remember being in 5th grade many years ago when my friends were cracking jokes about "sixty-nine-ing." I pretended like I knew what they were talking about and laughed along. Later, I privately asked a friend what it meant, and she just said, "Think about it. 69. Get it?" My guess is that she did not know either.

But it was not just among my friends where this sort of perplexing situation happened. In 7th grade health class, we were learning about sexually transmitted diseases and other topics of "safe sex." The teacher said in class that "one possible consequence of anal sex is a ripped anus." At that age, I was embarrassed that I did not know what an anus was (note for those wondering - it's your butt), and I never asked a soul. I just made something up in my mind about what it might be (incorrectly) and moved along. Somewhere between then and probably 9th grade, I heard the real meaning in passing, but I know I went quite a while not knowing.

Now imagine if this had happened to me today. Imagine that as a 5th grader I searched for the meanings of those words on the internet. What would almost certainly come up first would be pornography depicting these acts, and I would be exposed to graphic content by no intent of my own. Hopefully, you get the picture.

Am I saying that anal sex or the 69 sex position are inherently wrong or "dirty?" Absolutely not! I believe that in the context of a consensual adult relationship, two people can discuss between themselves what is safe, respectful, and pleasurable, and no two relationships will look exactly the same on that front. What I do think is wrong, however, is a child searching the internet with little other context in which to discuss or understand sex, and coming to believe that various sex acts or attitudes they encounter are the norm for all couples. Or a child becoming addicted to the online images they see, such that they become desensitized to real future partners. Especially during the extremely formative developmental years, children may come to believe that they should "expect" certain acts, responses, grooming habits, etc. from future partners, and that can be extremely damaging to real life relationships, where very rarely does a partner fulfill every imaginable fantasy on demand.

I want to preface the rest of this post by saying that I am aware that many of the opinions expressed in this post are informed by my faith as an evangelical Christian and by my identity as a woman, through which I have come to believe that pornography is damaging to the sexual and emotional health of any person, regardless of age. I am also aware that intelligent, loving people may disagree with me when it comes to adult consumption of adult content. However, I hope that we can put aside our differences about the more controversial topic of adult viewership and still agree that consumption of adult content by young children is of actual consequence to their social, emotional, sexual, mental, and physical well-being. Young brains and bodies are just not at the same stages of development as those of an adult.

Although any type of pornography can be scary, confusing, or damaging to a child, I think it is worthwhile to point out that pornography today may be different than what you thought of twenty years ago when you came across your friend's dad's magazine in his basement. Some of the main differences are (1) an endless and constantly available supply, (2) an ability to search for any type of pornography until a person finds exactly what he/she is looking for, (3) the anonymity of viewing internet pornography (versus purchasing it in a store), and (4) perhaps most importantly, the content available and popular today, which often includes violent or fetishist acts. Although there have not been many studies to date directly addressing childhood pornography viewing, many psychologists will talk about their own clinical experiences of the types of damage done to their young clients, as discussed in this article from ABCnews. Additional information can be found on this page by ProtectKids.com, this fact sheet by the Coalition to Prevent Child Sexual Abuse and Exploitation, and many other informative sites that you will encounter with a simple Google search of "Damage of Pornography to Kids." Among the short-term and long-term concerns listed are impairment in developing real-life friendships and romantic relationships, unrealistic depictions of sex in a real relationship, unrealistic views of body image, violent images leading to violent in-person gender relations, a psychological separation of sex from emotional intimacy, expectations of fetishist acts from real life future partners, a sense of pressure to perform sexual acts that are uncomfortable or unwanted, addiction, acting out sexual acts on other children or generally engaging in sexualized behavior at a young age, normalizing sexually abusive scenarios, and normalizing adult/child sexual relations (if a child stumbles across pornography involving minors), among many other possible negative outcomes.

So how do we protect our children?

My mom did have a few sex talks with me, and my parents tried to be open and available for me when I needed them. I really believe that I grew up in a great household with wonderful, loving, supportive parents. But even so, my young mind thought I should be afraid to ask them what terms like "69" and "anal sex" meant (and maybe they would not have even known themselves about some of the terms I heard floating around the halls of school.) In her post, Ann Marie Miller talks about how children and parents need to have an ongoing dialogue about sex, not just a single moment of discussion. (Unfortunately, many parents do not even have that one talk.) There is no guarantee that your child will open up to you, of course, but starting those discussions early, as children become aware of their sexuality over time, raises the chances that if something does happen, be it around them, to them, or by them, they are more likely to feel safe confiding in you (or talking with another trusted adult), should they feel they need to.

Ann Marie Miller also points out that many parents think their child is the exception, but Miller says that parents just need to get that out of their heads. You may have great internet controls at home, and you may not provide internet access without parental involvement yourself, but chances are, some (maybe a large) proportion of your child's friends have smart phones, tablets, etc. that they carry around without those same protections. Even when I was growing up without any of that technology around, I had heard a surprisingly wide array of sexual information on the elementary playground, often completely unsolicited. Any child, of any age, of any race, of any socioeconomic background, of any religious upbringing can hear confusing words at school, can be exposed to pornography, can be molested by a trusted adult or stranger, can end up with deep sexual secrets that they are afraid to tell you or that may affect them for years to come.

Source: http://adage.com/article/adagestat/25-toddlers-a-smartphone/229082/

A few months ago, I read a book about pornography addiction called, "The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography," by Larry and Wendy Maltz. The book is very educational and talks about the personal damage, relational havoc, professional embarrassment, and other trials that pornography can escort into our lives. It also talks about steps to seek help and to get out of the addiction. I wanted to read about the topic, because I personally know a LOT of people (mostly Christians who have confided in me), both male and female, who have struggled with secret pornography obsessions at one point or another. I myself had viewed it for a period of several months in college, at a time which I would describe as the last step in a series of escalating issues I was handling poorly. I would say my own experiences were addictive to some extent, as it is difficult not to get addicted to something that releases so many pleasurable hormones into your system. At the height of my viewership habit, I found myself actually getting annoyed with good friends when our social plans interfered with my desire to view pornography. As it turns out, this is a very common experience! Yet thankfully, I believe God intervened when I had a life-changing moment during which I decided to put it away forever and never turned back. Sometimes I wonder how deeply I would be entrenched today if that change never happened. In reading the Maltzs' book, I wanted to understand more about the psychological underpinnings of pornography addiction and the best ways to respond to and support the recovery of my friends who are in the middle of it right now.

Does everyone who views pornography get addicted? No. But it is still a very real concern. Consider this: According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, of those who use heroine, it is estimated that 23% become dependent. That means 77% of people who try heroine have no problem with addiction, yet I would never recommend it to anyone I know. One might consider pornography in a similar light. The risk of addiction is real, and the relational risks, even apart from addiction, are also very real. Will everyone who looks at porn experience negative consequences? Maybe not. But do you want to leave that to chance with young children, who are particularly vulnerable? According to many surveys, children ages 11-17 are the biggest viewers of pornography, and about 70% of people say their pornography viewing is a secret. For more specific information about how pornography can actually be not just psychologically, but actually physiologically (body chemistry) addicting, check out this video series about the brain on pornography.

One of the most interesting (and scary) things I learned from "The Porn Trap" is that most people who do develop pornography addictions had their first exposure in elementary school, often times accidentally. And the exact age of first exposure is getting younger and younger with the widespread availability of internet access.

Couple this with the evidence presented in "Cinderella Ate My Daughter," by Peggy Orenstein, that we live in a culture which is sexualizing children in advertising all around us (for a recent example, read about the controversy over Victoria's Secret tween advertising), and you have a recipe for a generation of children experiencing sexuality in ways that you and I hardly had to worry about until our teen years or adulthood.

I highly recommend that you read Ann Marie Miller's entire post about the "Three Things You Don't Know About Your Children and Sex," as you may be surprised by what you read. Personally, I believe that even those of us without children need to be aware of what youth face today, as we may find ourselves mentoring youth who want to talk to us, or we may even know people in our adult lives who have had some of these experiences and need help to deal with them.

We definitely need to protect children from things that their young minds were not meant to process, so I am in no way saying that we should intentionally introduce our children to words or acts that are beyond their years. But no matter how hard we try, we simply cannot protect them from everything and everyone out there. They are highly susceptible to seeing, hearing, or personally experiencing something that you would never have wanted them to know at their age. The question is, to whom will they be ready to turn when this happens? Personally speaking, I would rather a child ask me what "anal sex" is than be so afraid of my reaction that they believe an internet search is their only option. For many children, if a loving and non-condemning adult does not listen and/or answer their questions, someone or something will, and it may be a frightening or inappropriate experience for them. In an age when more kids know how to use a smart phone than know how to tie their shoes, let's commit to being as educated and as open as possible, so that when youth do have questions or confusing experiences, they know that we (as parents, grandparents, friends, mentors, pastors, teachers, counselors, etc.) are there to listen and to help.

Funny Statistics

One of the things on the internet that often sends me into a minor rage (because, you know, there are just so few offensive things out there that I had to find something, anything to be annoyed at) is misuse of statistics. It is so easy for a manipulative writer to "deceive the masses" with numbers (myself often included), and then there are those who unintentionally misuse statistics in their articles and go about their merry days guilt free. That is among the reasons I wrote a post a while back about the benefits and limits of statistics. The point was really to encourage readers to think critically. Interestingly enough, that is my most popular post ever, so maybe I am onto something!

I seem to encounter statistically infuriating writing in the news or other websites on a near weekly basis, often written by "experts." Yikes! But this week, I found something statistically hilarious on buzzfeed.com: "The 10 Most Bizarre Correlations." Ok, I know I have a dorky sense of humor. But come on people, these are funny!

This is one of my favorites, because it realistically portrays what I actually see in articles on a regular basis:

Source: http://boingboing.net/2013/01/01/correlation-between-autism-dia.html

For those still scratching their heads about why this is absurd, notice that the two graphs are presented in total counts (total sales and total diagnoses), not as proportions of the total population represented by the graph. My best guess is that the population growth curve would match up very closely to these two metrics or that the population growth curve plus other factors would do so, but without that information specifically provided, we cannot know. It really doesn't mean that much statistically to say that there were four times as many disease diagnoses counted in 2008 compared to 1998 if there were also four times as many people alive in general (or if the methods for diagnoses became better, such that the disease was simply identified with greater ease). If that were the case, the rate of disease may have stayed constant. The same is true with the purchase or organic produce - it could be an increase based solely on having a larger population (or another possibility is that the number of organic produce purchases remained constant, with the price of the organic produce quadrupling, thus increasing total dollar sales). With this graph, we really have no way of knowing what this data really means, as it has no reference to how many people were in the population each year, nor do we have information on many other associated metrics. Without asking critical thinking questions, some might look at this and automatically conclude that there is a link between organic food and autism. Gotta love the misuse of science! I'll stick with my pesticide fruit, thank you very much!

This also reminds me of a funny xkcd comic:

Source: http://xkcd.com/1138/

As the comic author writes in the sub-text (when you hold your mouse cursor for a couple of seconds over the comic on their website), "There are also a lot of global versions of this map showing traffic to English-language websites which are indistinguishable from maps of the location of internet users who are native English speakers." Yes!

Another one of my favorites from the buzzfeed article is a 1960's study demonstrating that countries with slower growing economies have men with longer "male organs."

Source: http://www.nerve.com/news/love-sex/new-study-finds-correlation-between-penis-size-and-national-gdp-0

Or, as a slightly different, but more recent study showed:

Source: http://www.nerve.com/news/love-sex/new-study-finds-correlation-between-penis-size-and-national-gdp-0

I knew there was a silver lining to the recession! Ok, but seriously now - can you think of other factors that might create this effect, beyond the economic growth of a country? This is a test of your analytic prowess!

To see the rest of the odd examples of correlation, check out this awesome article: http://www.buzzfeed.com/kjh2110/the-10-most-bizarre-correlations.

Guatemala Support-Raising Update

Update! With one week left to go before the balance is due on the Guatemala well-drilling trip, here is where I stand on my support goals:

• My prayer team is rapidly growing, and I am so thankful for everyone who is willing to support me in this way! Prayer is the most important thing I need going into this trip!
• With regards to fundraising, the latest figure I have received from our trip coordinator is $425 raised out of a total of $1900 needed.

If you are interested in joining my prayer team, please call/email me directly or message me below. For financial donations, please make checks payable to Living Water International and mail with the remittance slip at this link to make sure it gets attributed to my trip! You can also make donations via credit card by calling our Living Water trip coordinator, Sarah Evans, at (281) 207-7814. The organization will give me the names of all who donate, so that I can thank you!

Mailing address:

Living Water International

Attn: Mission Trips Department

4001 Greenbriar Drive

Stafford, TX  77477

Don't forget to include the remittance slip in the envelope.

Thanks again to all who have already joined my team, either financially or in prayer. Your support means so much!

Bringing Clean Water to Guatemala

"But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." -John 4:14


Dear Friends,

Greetings from the San Francisco Bay Area! As you may already know, a lot has happened in the last year or so. Last summer, Matthew and I went to Cambodia for two weeks to volunteer with Agape International Missions by serving children who have been trafficked for sex or who are vulnerable to trafficking. It was a very meaningful trip that opened our eyes to the horrors of child sex trafficking and that further confirmed our calling to serve abroad for a more extended period in a couple of years. On a slightly different note, I also recently found out that I was accepted into the Masters of Public Health program at UC Berkeley, so I will be leaving my job at Aetna and starting a two-year program in health and social behavior this coming fall. I am hoping that God will use this time to prepare me for a career change that enables me to exercise my passion for health justice.

On the theme of health justice, one of the major global health crises of our day is that 783 million people lack access to safe drinking water. Many of these individuals are part of the billion people on our planet who live on less than a dollar a day. Communities without a reliable source of clean drinking water are often plagued by water-related diseases or parasites, and some people risk their safety to travel miles every day to gather water from the nearest source.

I recently learned of an opportunity to bring clean water to one such community, and this is the main purpose of my letter today. One of my friends was awarded a volunteer grant by his tech company, which pays for him and one other individual to go on a well-drilling trip to Guatemala. The only catch was that he needed to assemble the rest of his drilling team quickly! As Matthew and I were reflecting on whether another missions trip was in the cards for this summer, God placed this need directly in our laps. Matthew will unfortunately be out of town on another trip that week, but we decided it would still be a great opportunity for me to go and serve the Guatemalan community alongside our friends.

So in less than two months, May 18-25, I will be headed to Guatemala with Living Water International! This is an organization that seeks to demonstrate God’s love by implementing participatory, community-based water solutions in developing countries. They recognize that meeting physical needs is an important testament to the true “living water”—the gospel of Jesus Christ—which alone satisfies the soul’s deepest thirst.

In order to attend this trip, I need to assemble a team of people committed to praying for me before, during, and after my time in Guatemala. In addition, I need to raise approximately $1900 to cover the participation cost. Due to the short timeline between when God provided this opportunity and the date on which the full cost of the trip is due, I am left with about two weeks to raise full funding. I am trusting that God will provide! I would be honored if you would consider partnering with me on this mission to bring clean water and the love of Christ to those in need.

Would you be willing to join my prayer team and/or to support this mission trip financially? Donations are tax deductible, and any amount you are able to contribute is significant in helping to reach my fundraising goal. You can make donations via credit card by calling our Living Water International trip coordinator, Sarah Evans, at (281) 207-7814, or by mailing a check with the remittance form at this link to Living Water International (address listed at the bottom of the remittance form). All donations must be received by Living Water International no later than April 15. If you would like to join my prayer team, please comment below or contact me directly.

Please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions you may have. I look forward to hearing from you soon!


Sincerely,
Kristen Campbell



Update: For those on my prayer team - my prayer requests right now are for the Lord to provide spiritually and financially by raising up a team to support the trip. The other major request I have is for my neck. I have been experiencing a lot of pain in the last couple of years and have (finally) started physical therapy recently. Please pray for healing, strength, and also to stay safe on the trip, especially because there will be manual labor involved, and I need to plan for it to protect myself from further injury. There may be opportunities for me to take some breaks from manual labor by conducting hygiene lessons in the community (as the organization usually does this at some points anyway). Please pray for God's protection over my neck/back and for Him to be watching over all of the logistics of the schedule to create the best environment for that. Thanks!

Obstetric Fistula: What Can I Do?

A while ago, I wrote a post about obstetric fistula. For those who do not know already, obstetric fistula is a hole between the vagina and bladder or between the vagina and rectum, which can be one of the most tragic and humiliating effects of obstructed labor. (I highly recommend reading my older post that includes moving personal stories of fistula, if you have not already.) This is one of the most heart-wrenching issues I have ever encountered, and it has been on my mind throughout the last year. I have been looking for ways to get the word out about fistula to those who are not already aware.

Along those lines, I am very excited to report that last week, I helped to organize a "lunch and learn" presentation at my workplace. About a dozen people attended the event (out of ~70 employees in the office), received a free hot lunch (homemade by myself and other wonderful women of our office volunteer committee), and listened to a presentation about fistula. The attendees asked a lot of great questions, and many seemed interested in getting involved or spreading the word themselves. If nothing else, I am so excited to know that this important global health issue has gained even a fraction of greater visibility, with this handful of newly educated individuals.

This is the type of event that you can organize to touch your own places of influence, be that your office, church, friend group, family, professional organization, or another circle of people you know.

Other ideas to help women with fistula:

• Purchase Mothers' Day gifts that support women with fistula.
• Play this facebook game to earn points that Johnson & Johnson will convert into an actual cash donation.
• Donate to an organization helping women with fistula, such as the Fistula Foundation.
• Give the book "Half the Sky" to friends for special occasions.
• Screen a fistula documentary for friends and family at your home, church, office, or other location.

Ultimate Treadmill Fails

Ok, so I know it is sort of messed up that we humans can find it funny to watch videos of people getting hurt. But laughing is good for your health, and I can't help but say that this compilation of "The Ultimate Treadmill Fails" is pretty much hilarious. Some of these workout catastrophes do look plain old painful (and not so funny). Others look like bad ideas gone wrong, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say bad ideas gone even worse than planned. But in my opinion, the clip 50 seconds in makes the whole thing worth watching. I laughed out loud, both the first time I saw it and when re-watching it. So go ahead and treat yourself to a good laugh!

Neck Pain, Trapezius Hypertrophy, and Ergonomic Adventures

Today, I wanted to share a little tidbit of what I have been learning in physical therapy. Between surviving the rigors of late-night paper-writing back in college, attempting to exercise in various ways (like African Dance), and getting in a car accident on the freeway a couple years ago, I have had all sorts of neck pain for the last several years. Thankfully, I finally got my butt to a doctor a few weeks ago, in large part due to the encouragement of my wonderful and persistent friends and husband. (Seriously, after a lovely lunch date, one of my concerned friends suggested she not leave my house until I had called the doctor in front of her. And it worked!) Now, I am working on the getting better part!

One of the most interesting things I have learned is that my upper trapezius muscles are hypertrophied. In normal-person speak, this means that those big muscles that connect my shoulders to my neck - the ones I use to shrug - are being over-worked and over-firmed. Hence the reason my neck feels like a rock all the time. I find this cool, because it means I have at least one strong muscle in my body! Win! (Unfortunately for me, I actually need to make this muscle smaller.) As it turns out, some of the hypertrophy may be due to injury, but working on a computer all day can contribute to the problem significantly and/or prevent it from healing. And according to my physical therapist, this is a common occurrence for those of us with desk jobs.

Image source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Musculi_coli_base.svg

So what does the computer have to do with a person's neck muscles? As it turns out, the positioning of each item in your workstation setup can make a major difference!

For example, when the keyboard or mouse is too high, you will have a tendency to raise your shoulders in order to use them. The keyboard and mouse should be at a level that allows your arms to stay down and your elbows to bend at approximately a ninety-degree angle. This is typically accomplished with the use of a keyboard tray; having the keyboard or mouse up on your desk surface is generally not recommended. 

Image source: http://www.ergostoreonline.com/how-to-
create-an-ergonomic-computer-workstation.aspx

Additionally, if the computer screen is too low (as often is the case with a laptop placed on a desk surface), you may strain your muscles looking down all day. If the screen is too high, you may cantilever your neck out as you look up to read. My physical therapist recommends having the top of the computer screen at eye-brow level, so that you are looking straight to read the top line of text or very slightly down to read the rest of the screen. Most monitors can be adjusted to fit the right height, or if a laptop is your only option, consider getting a stand to raise it to the right eye level.

Similarly, if the arm rests of your chair are too high, they can force your neck muscles into that upward shrugging position, or if they are too low, you may have a tendency to lean against one arm (again resulting in a shrugging neck position on one side, which uses those trapezius muscles). Next thing you know, you will end up in hypertrophied trapezius land with me!

If you have neck or back pain, you should of course consult your doctor. He or she may recommend various tests, exercises, therapies, or medications to meet your specific needs. However, I can guarantee that if you work with computers with any regularity, your doctor will also tell you to fix your setup as part of the healing process. At the very least, there is no harm to be done in making sure your work station is ergonomic. Your employer may have ergonomic consultants already available to assist you, or you can read more about what makes a workstation ergonomic online!

Image source: http://coachvilaca.blogspot.com/
2011/07/general-ackbar.html

And remember to be conscious of keeping those upper trapezius muscles down and relaxed! Even the best setup will not necessarily help if you continue to lean forward in your chair, place your elbows on your desk, hunch your back, or keep up all of those other pesky sitting habits that I am working so hard to kick!

I hope to have good news about my neck pain after correcting my computer setup and working hard on my other back/core muscles in physical therapy for the next few weeks. I am thankful that I am getting back on the right track with my new ergonomic positioning. Best of luck to all in your own ergonomic adventures, and feel free to share any tips you have learned!